We all chase things in life, success, relationships, wealth and recognition. I spent most of my adult life chasing those exact things, only to realise that I could never really enjoy them. They would be out of reach without learning to manifest self-love. Although I was achieving, I was my own worst enemy.
When you’re your worst enemy, manifesting self-love requires a sincere desire to change how you currently see yourself. You need a willingness to convince your persistent inner critic to accept and love you, flaws and all.
Manifesting Self Love is one of your life’s most challenging and rewarding pursuits. The internet is awash with information about manifesting money, relationships, and dream careers, but how do you manifest self-love? Living in a world filled with comparison, judgement and ‘not enough-ness” makes” it extremely difficult.
Here’s how to manifest self-love when you’re your own worst enemy in 8 steps:
- Recognise That self-love is the key to ALL you want in life, and bump this up to priority number one! You may need to recognise that you DON’T love yourself BUT be willing to learn right now! (After all, how’s that ‘down on yourself’ approach working out for you anyway?)
- Start to notice when you have negative self-talk – I’m this, I’m that, they don’t like me etc. That was stupid. Why did I say that?
- Make nice with the part of you that is saying all that negative self-talk (after all, that part probably wants to protect you) – hey, I hear you, you’re trying to keep me safe, I appreciate that, but I’m good now, and I’ve got other ways to handle this.
- Make nice with the part of you that DOESN’T like THAT part of you that says all the negative self-talk – hey, I can understand WHY you may be annoyed with all the criticism, BUT give her a break, she’s just trying to keep us safe, and you know what, it’s OK for you to feel annoyed too!
- Relax, breathe, and let it go – Take a deep breath and release all the tension in your body.
- Slip in a new, more empowering thought – Ask yourself NOW, which thought would I prefer to create for my future? Then, think it, even SAY it out loud; at first, you may not believe it, BUT like anything with repetition, these new thoughts will replace those old damaging programs.
- Rinse and repeat UNTIL you start noticing that the thoughts you are thinking are supportive, nurturing, and good, like the things a dear friend would say; if you don’t have a dear friend, then the things you would say to someone you like and respect,
- Bonus – notice the little mini-miracles happening around you, and step back in awe at what you have manifested. MANIFESTING SELF-LOVE RULES!
Why is manifesting self-love the KEY to manifesting EVERYTHING else?
We all know what it’s like to focus on life’s external trimmings and those expectations. Our happiness is on hold, waiting for when we get that job, that person, that circumstance, and inevitably falling short of the way we thought it should be. Then, repeating the cycle of frustrations, blame, and negative self-talk. Are we focusing on the RIGHT things if we are looking for fulfilment? There are endless YouTube videos and blog posts on how to manifest money, relationships, and dream careers, and for the most part, those are sound principles.
Thanks to the YouTube algorithm, you’ll get served up the BEST manifesting gurus of all time. With a few key searches, you’ll cross Napoleon Hill – author of the classic Think and Grow Rich, Earl Nightingale – The Strangest Secret, Ask, and It Is Given – Esther Hicks AND, of course, The Secret. The common theme is that if you can think, see, hear and act as if your desired future was here right now, then the universe has no option but to bring those dreams into the material world.
These excellent teachers and authors are on the money. But what about those of us who, at a deep level, doubt that it is possible for us? We don’t believe that we truly deserve all the joy, love, happiness and prosperity. Those who think “other “people” must “have it figured things out. Other people got dealt a better hand. Well, we may as well forget it.
Most people miss the key from all those methods, believing you deserve that future, that money, the new career, and that you are valuable. YOU! When do we feel the most valued? When we MANIFEST SELF-LOVE! And who is the most critical person to love?
If you don’t, then:
- It’s hard for other people to love you.
- You’ll constantly be rejecting yourself.
- You won’t believe in your value, so other people won’t value you.
- You won’t believe in your gifts and pursue your dreams.
- You’ll constantly be comparing yourself to others.
- You’ll WAIT for other people to make you feel good.
- Your entire day, week or month will be dependent on something someone said or didn’t say
- When there is no one else around, you’ll feel LONELY.
- You won’t know what you TRULY want.
- You’ll miss out on the fantastic experiences that are happening right NOW.
If all the above apply, how can love, prosperity, and joy FIND you on earth?
“I deserve the best and accept it now; all my needs and desires are met before I even ask.”
Louise Hay
Blocks to manifesting self-love
An incredible 95% of our behaviours, creativity, personality and beliefs are driven by our subconscious. That means that we don’t know what we DO know. We are chronic thinkers, not even aware of what we think; we only have actual control of a measly 5% of what we do say and feel! No wonder manifesting self-love is a challenge. We have received a continual barrage of messages from the media, past experiences and well-intentioned but programmed adults. They thought it best if we “stopped being too big for our britches” or “didn’t act up ourselves.” How could we prioritise our needs and love and accept ourselves unconditionally when our programming tells us to do the opposite?
We’re hanging out waiting, hoping for a small serving, and when we get it, we’re not sure it is real. It’s as if love itself only gets handed out to the most deserving, highest achieving, best dressed, least offensive humans. For most people, it’s not apparent that they don’t love themselves. They’ve been the same way their entire lives and can’t realise WHY they’re unhappy. It continually plays in the background of their lives, like getting used to sirens from fire engines going by your window in big cities. After years of living there, you don’t hear it anymore until you finally take a trip to the country, where you are taken aback by the peace and tranquillity, and you realise there are no sirens.
Tips for manifesting self-love
The journey to manifesting self-love does not come with a map. Instead of thinking of this as a destination, try to see it unfolding. Here are some tips for anyone looking to form closer, more rewarding, loving relationships with themselves.
Get some support: If you feel that Self-love (or self-loathing) may be an issue for you, it helps to seek out a licensed therapist or counsellor who can help you start to unravel the reasons you may feel the need to dislike, berate and battle with yourself.
Keep a journal: When your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and your actions are on the page, they stare right back at you; your logical mind can objectively decide if those are thoughts you want to be thinking.
Access the superconscious: The Super Conscious is the JUICY place where we experience heightened awareness. It is true wisdom involves intuition before reason and emotions. This place is not exclusive; we all have access to this every day. With repeated meditation, EVERYONE can access this place like a beautiful homecoming. In this space, you can loosen the grip on the programs and get insights into your true self – once this process begins, you will have the BEST environment for accessing and cultivating self-love. Accessing the superconscious is an ongoing process, so follow the eight steps above for notable improvement in ALL areas of your life!
Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. Earl Nightingale
Be patient with yourself: Hey, how come I don’t love myself yet? Seriously? Why is this taking so long? You’ve You’veyour entire life running the same programs, so undoing them will take some time; the process to manifest self-love is ongoing, and you may get impatient, see if you can approach that impatience with a sense of friendliness. (Follow the steps above)
Expect setbacks: How would you treat a child who was learning to ride a bike and kept falling? Would you criticise them? “Get up”, you silly child. Why don’t you know how to do this yet?” Think” of yourself the same; there will be setbacks, and growth can be a painful process. Being gentle when setbacks occur is key to sticking with this.
Practice using affirmations: We use affirmations daily to either serve us or sabotage our efforts. Saying “You idiot, why did you …” is an affirmation of the negative. This negative affirmation will create your experience. “I am learning more every day, and things are getting better” is a positive affirmation. Louise Hay was the queen of self-love and master of affirmations.
To Sum it Up
The missing link in manifesting the goodies of life is manifesting SELF-LOVE. When you can do this, you will feel full right here, and those “things” you wanted won’t seem significant. There will be a release and a freeing up of all that effort, and those little miracles will start to trickle into your life. Then the trickle will become a stream and a river because you will have opened yourself up to who you truly are.
Most people believe loving yourself is vanity; that couldn’t be farther from the truth. To manifest Self-Love is caring for YOU and acknowledging that you are an essential being. You are a child of the universe, source, and God and are here for a reason.
